For the past few days as I hold my crying babes, when I am overly tired or frustrated...this phrase is what I hear. I am so grateful for the privilege and honor of being a mother, especially a mother to the two littles that I have.
I read a blogpost the other day that brought tears to my eyes. It was written by a mother who was dealing with feelings of guilt for not accomplishing all that she felt she should...and how she got a simple reminder from up above that she is enough because the work she is doing is for him. Most days my children are naked, by 9:30 am I get tired of fighting the good fight with bodily fluids and strip off their clothes. 9.5 times out of 10 my husband comes home to a wife who looks like she has spent her day working downtown...but not
the fancy suit, tall building kind of work, the kind of work where you sit on the sidewalk with a cup and beg for quarters. My couch is covered in baby barf stains and miscellaneous spots from our pups. I can't tell you the last time I cleaned my floors or the toilets. So as I read this post, I could completely relate. I go to bed at night and my mind just races. I think about all the things I forgot to do that day and think about how I can do better tomorrow. I feel like I am lacking in so many areas and I am overwhelmed with all the things I need to improve on and how I can become a better person.
I awoke this morning to sounds of laughter and cooing. The sun was shining and I felt an overwhelming sense of Gods love. I arose from bed to start my day the same way I always do now. I walked into my babies room and peeked over the crib to find a sweet little face and big smile staring back at me. The next part is my favorite part of my life. yes...my favorite part of my life. Two chubby arms reaching for me. They reach for me and it makes me whole. As I pick up each of my sweet little babes I realize I am enough for them. They are unaware of my flaws. They don't care what I look like, how clean the house is, or what tasks remain incomplete. They don't care if I am not in with the all the "cool kids" at church. They only care that I am there to greet them each morning with a smile and open arms. To them I am their world. I am the first person they see when they get up, I am the one who makes them smile, makes them clean, and rejoices with them in all their accomplishments. To them I am their safe place, I am the warm embrace when they are in pain and kiss on their cheek when they need some love. I am the cuddle in the late hours of the night, and the soothing song as they cry. They love me simply because I am there and for who I am to them. I am theirs, I belong to them and they belong to me. They love me because I am their mom. That is enough for them so it has to be enough for me.
My mighty Nolan is my peace. He is who I reach for when I am feeling the struggles of my heart. He comforts me and eases my pain. He settles my chaotic soul. Sometimes when he is just looking at me, much like in the picture below, I feel connected to heaven, like he is my gateway to God.
I could never adequately express in words the immense love I have for my children. It is unequivocal, deep, raw, unconditional and without limits. It is what keeps me going when days are long and nights are longer.
I awoke this morning to sounds of laughter and cooing. The sun was shining and I felt an overwhelming sense of Gods love. I arose from bed to start my day the same way I always do now. I walked into my babies room and peeked over the crib to find a sweet little face and big smile staring back at me. The next part is my favorite part of my life. yes...my favorite part of my life. Two chubby arms reaching for me. They reach for me and it makes me whole. As I pick up each of my sweet little babes I realize I am enough for them. They are unaware of my flaws. They don't care what I look like, how clean the house is, or what tasks remain incomplete. They don't care if I am not in with the all the "cool kids" at church. They only care that I am there to greet them each morning with a smile and open arms. To them I am their world. I am the first person they see when they get up, I am the one who makes them smile, makes them clean, and rejoices with them in all their accomplishments. To them I am their safe place, I am the warm embrace when they are in pain and kiss on their cheek when they need some love. I am the cuddle in the late hours of the night, and the soothing song as they cry. They love me simply because I am there and for who I am to them. I am theirs, I belong to them and they belong to me. They love me because I am their mom. That is enough for them so it has to be enough for me.
My little Layla is my light when my world is dim. Her smile gives me hope and reminds me of all the beauty life has to offer. Her smile is infectious and I can't help but smile back her. I can't explain it any better than that really, but all I can say is when I feel dark inside I go to hold her because she lights me back up.
Being a mother has been the greatest blessing of my life. These babes of mine save me everyday. I hope I can be the mother they deserve because these tiny spirits I have been given are really something special.
