Dear Body

I know I'm way past due on my birth post and I'm working on it. But I wanted to take a moment and give a special shout out to my rockin' body. 

Dear Body,

We have had an up and down relationship the last several years. I have judged you far too harshly for all your "imperfections". I have blamed you for all the years I was sick. I was verbally abusive when you increased in size and cursed you when you didn't decrease said size at the rate I felt you should have. For years I told you that you were not good enough and told you that given the chance, I would exchange you in a second. 

Well body, today I am here to apologize. Today I am admitting I am wrong. I am sorry. Body you are awesome, and this is why;

Even though I was sick, you still allowed me to do so many things.  Even though I was sick, I could still see, hear, walk, talk, and dance. 

 All those "imperfections" I saw, they are what make me unique. They are what help tie me to the people I love, because I got those things from them. I thank you for that. 

The weight gain, was a combination of you AND me. I take my share of the blame. In that time I was gaining the weight, I was also living. I was REALLY living. I was eating gelato and authentic Italian carbs and it was magnificent and totally worth it. 

In the time it took to loose that weight, I was becoming stronger and learning more about myself. Something I would not have, had you dropped the weight when I demanded you to.

But you know what makes you the most awesome?

This....

You made those. YOU did that! How freaking cool are you??? You amazed me. You gave me the very greatest gifts I will ever receive. You not only made these magical creatures, but you brought them into the world. I was scared for that part, but you did it. Not only did you do it, but you did it like a champ. You are strong and powerful. 

As I stare at the mirror at my new body; I admire my squishy new tummy (part of me hopes it never goes away) I'm kinda in love with it. Its like my right of passage, it's proof I'm a mom. 

 I smile back at that sweet scar that seems to smile back at me. It's my badge of honor that I wear with pride. 

So body, for all the million and five things you have done and continue to do for me... Thank You. I promise to ignore society and the media when they tell me you don't look right. I will treat you better. I will never again wish to trade you in for any other body. You rock and I love you.

-love me😘

PS- Fork you media!

Prego Mego

Well since I have been horrible at keeping week to week or month to month documentation on here, I may as well update now. Here is a list of things I am frequently asked and all the other happenings in the Bradham house while being pregnant.

How much weight have I gained? 
as of today 26 lbs.

Do I have an innie or outtie?
Still an innie, but its barely hanging on

Maternity clothes?
Only shirts so far. Thanks to leggings and Jeggings. Which are now my new best friends. Which is funny because before I was in need of stretchy pants I was super anti-jeggings. Too quick to judge I suppose.
I can still wear a few of my jeans as long as I rubber-band the button or wear a belly band. Not that clothes matter on bed rest anyway.

When am I due again?
Well when we found out it was twins the due date was Dec.10. Due to recent events, in the event that I can actually, by some miracle, keep them in that long (and I don't go bat poop crazy beforehand) the new date is Dec. 3. However, my OB feels like it will be week 34. So...the week of Nov. 12. Who knows really, to be honest, I could pop any second.

Cravings?
The last two months I have really craved water and slushies. I can't get enough of water and I keep a hospital cup by me at all times and go through 4 a day...which equals 112 oz. True story. The past few weeks I have been craving sausage and sauerkraut. And I always crave sweets. Mostly candy and cakes.

What do you do all day? (bed rest)
I mostly get my trash kicked by candy crush all day and wait for lives to fill up. That's what I do. On special days I wait for packages to arrive. Like today, I have been tracking my diaper bag like a hound dog. I knew it was coming today so I positioned myself on the couch so I could stare out the window and watch for it. I literally split my time between playing candy crush and staring out the window for hours. That's how pathetically bored I am sometimes. I have been really lucky though to have great friend who stop by to visit and bring me goodies. It's really nice. Since I am typing all this you can't tell that I type this with a smile on my face. I am a homebody at heart and its really not so bad just vegging and watching movies. I actually enjoy it more now that its cold and yucky outside. It's the sunshine that depresses me. Backwards I know, but I want to be out in the sun. I also have my appts. to look forward too. Every Tuesday and Friday we head over to Perinatal. AKA, our new family. and every other week I also go to the OB. I look forward to those days.

I think those are about all the things people seem to ask me. Oh wait. something else people mention is our pups and how they are going to react to the babes. Since a picture is worth a thousand words.....

Let's begin with Le Charles

If you can't tell from the pictures. He has developed a slight obsession with my belly. He loves to just come sit on my lap and rest his little head on the babies. It was super adorable, one day he has his head on me and one of the buds started to kick him. He stared at my belly for a second, then started to lick it like crazy. It was ridiculously adorable and I got a video. I think Garrett and I may lose him when these buds come. He is going to love them way more than us. I think I'm okay with that.

Chaunce De Leon

We have discovered recently that Chauncey actually LOVES babies. when our friends come with their babes he is very protective when they cry and gently tries to lick their faces. I love the following picture. We took it one night when we had just gotten the car seats. We had looked all over the house and couldn't find him. Garrett finally found him sitting in the nursery in the dark. He was just staring at the car seats. We could NOT get him to leave the room, or even look at us for that matter. I took some video and we decided to move the car seats to see what he would do. Garrett picked one up and carried it out and around upstairs and Chauncey followed it frantically. He kept trying to keep his nose on it. It was both hilarious and incredibly sweet.

He is definitely gonna be their little protector. He has always been a bit protective of me, but since I have become pregnant it's gotten bad. If anyone he doesn't know comes to the door, he flips and once they leave he then runs and sits on me and growls at the door. Yep these buds will always be safe with Chauncey.

Here are a few belly pictures just for funzies.

That is all I have uploaded on the computer for now. I am currently 31 weeks and 6 days. 32 week tomorrow. I have to say I am quite pleased that I have kept them in there until now. 32 is a goal week for mothers of multiples. New goal is now 34 weeks. I can do it. I think.

In good baby news, Baby L has removed her little self off of my sciatic nerve! WOOWHOOO! I mean really, I wasn't sure I would live through that. I have also beat the anemia! Except, as soon as I got some energy I was placed on bed rest. Ummm, if you know me at all, you have a bit of an understanding how frustrating this is for me. I am incredibly OCD about my house being clean. I am learning patience that is for sure. Lucky for me, Garrett is pretty good at keeping up with things and I am really grateful for all his hard work and help. However he does have his moments. For example, when I got up to get some water I though to myself "What fresh hell is this?" I know it had been there for 4 days. Seriously folks. My hell will not be of fire and brimstone. Oh no, it will be jam packed with never ending dirty dishes, Giant dust bunnies. Dentists, and I will forever be suffocating in a huge pile of dirty laundry. Also I am sure spiders will be involved.

It may not look bad at all from these pics but trust me...the kitchen was gross. I can't even tell you the amount of self control it took for me to just sit there and not do anything about it. Its hard to feel good and not be able to do the things you want. To be honest, it's been really good for me. I am learning that it's okay to have a messy house. I mean I am about to have two babies who will constantly need me and cleaning my house will soon be a luxury and really, its not that important. Right?...well I think I am right, but we will see. Besides, will I even care or notice when I am so enchanted by all their itty bits? I think I won't care.


So how's my belly looking now? Huge, that's how it's looking. At least, I think so. I love that its growing and I love to watch it get big. Except at night in bed when I feel gimonsterous! Don't so much "love" that. Night time is when I am over being pregnant. Garrett has been telling me for a while that he thinks its crazy that from the back I don't look pregnant then when I turn around BAM, there's a belly. I didn't believe him so we took pictures last night to prove it.

*Side note. Aren't my sweat pants awesome? lol. I adore them and need like 50 more pairs since I live in them.

I guess he was right. Its so weird because when I am in the shower or just nakie in general, I don't feel like I have really gained any weight except for in my belly but when I put clothes on......I feel like I have gained 500 lbs. Oh the price we pay to bring miniature versions of ourselves into this world,  So here I am 31 weeks 5 days. Hello Belly! I love it. 

Despite all the discomforts of a growing belly (not being able to put on my own shoes, or paint my toes, or bend over at all) I am enjoying it. I can see almost all the babies movements and I love that they interact with me so well. Its a pretty special thing and even though I am just about done...I will miss it. As hard as it it some days, I try to keep in mind that I won't ever get this time back. I am blessed that Garrett works from home and can care for me. I am blessed that I have been given time to just rest before my world is turned upside down. I mean honestly when else in your life do you have an excuse to sit on the couch and fatten up (Thanksgiving Turkeys everywhere, I know how you feel) without a single care in the world? The answer is never. Never again in my life will I get this rest. I try to tell myself, I am gonna really wish I had a day to just lay on the couch an do nothing when two babies are screaming and I am so beyond tired I can't see straight. So here I am soaking it up...most days. 

We go in to the perinatal, the place we now feel like we live, to see if my fella has grown. If he hasn't grown enough...its hospital stay for me. EWW. If that is the case, diaper bags is all packed and ready to go. Crazy. The babies are almost here...that is just Crazy.

Throw back Thursday

*blurry pic buts it's all I have

Taking it back to the day I found out I was pregnant. Thinking about it still ignites my soul. In an instant, my anguished soul was healed. It was such a tender, sacred, and intimate moment that I shared with my father in heaven. As I fall asleep on nights when the day has left me stressed, overwhelmed, or scared ; I replay this moment and remember being enveloped in the burning fire of love that my father in heaven has for me. 

I am grateful everyday for the honor and privilege of growing and loving two of his very unique and special spirits. I look forward to that sweet moment when he passes on the responsibility of his children onto me and we exchange yet another tender and sacred moment. 

Oh dear

Baby L repeatedly kicking the crap out of her brothers face

Bud B finally kicks back

He is smiling cause he is so proud of his little self.

At least until she flips and sits on his face

Something tells me I'm gonna have my hands full ☺️

Feet

If you know me... I mean even a tiny bit at all, then you are well aware of my deep destain for feet. I abhor them. I don't care how "clean" yours are, they repulse me.

I blame my grandmother for scaring me as a child. I used to scrape the calluses off her foot with the anticipation that a treat was waiting for me after words such a candy bar or fried gizzards. Country much? Thinking about It now makes me wanna hurl.  Ewww, just ewwww.

So who would have ever guessed that I would spend my days hoping and praying I would get to feel a foot. The later I go in this pregnancy the harder it gets. Between the anxiety, tears, anemia, back pain, acid reflux, and utter boredom from being strapped to the couch, some days I'm barely hanging on. But oh baby, when I feel those really strong kicks my heart skips a beat because I know. I know when I  press my hand on my belly, I will feel it. A tiny little foot. His tiny little foot.  I LIVE for those moments. For those few little second we are connected, he knows  I'm  there and I am as close as I can get to holding him. I feel his heel and all at once my heart swells. Sometimes my heart is so full that I cry. I cry because I think about that moment when I will finally hold him. I think about kissing those tiny little feet that I have become so attached too. I think about how deep in love I will fall. I think about the moment where he becomes mine and I become his. I think about his sensitive, little spirit fresh from heaven and I cry. Then I realize, when I am holding him so tight, he will no longer be growing inside me. And that makes me cry too. Because I won't have those sweet little kicks. He won't be with me everywhere I go and I will no longer be able to shield him from this big scary world. I cry because he will be so exposed and I won't always be able to protect him.  I cry because I am overwhelmed at the thought that the second he is born he will begin to grow and it will all be too fast. Despite the difficulties and bad days, I absolutely love being pregnant. It's like magic. It's magic going on right inside me. I can't wait to meet these little buds, but I am so in love with having them within me. 

I know this post was all about Bud B, but I haven't felt Baby L's feet yet, even though she is incredibly active. I also want my kids to know I love them individually and that my relationship with each of them is different and special. 

Oh little buds, you're kicking my trash... But I am loving it.

Year 4

Well, its another day strapped to the couch. So I may as well occupy my little self by blogging our 4th Anniversary.....

GB and I recently celebrated 4 years of marital magic. Our anniversary was on a Thursday so we planned to have a nice little dinner at  home and then really celebrate on Saturday.

Thursday we headed up to Super H Asian market to snag our very favorite dinner. YAKI SOBA! mmmm
I made some cheesecake for dessert, we blew out candles, and watched a movie. It was a nice relaxing evening. Esp. since little buds keep me down most of the time :)

Saturday we made the short 30 minutes drive up to Dahlonega. It was such a great day. The weather was absolutely fabulous. We started the day sampling the goodies at the farmers market. I just love home grown goodies! These tomatoes were scrumptious!!!!

22 weeks here!

We strolled around old town and played with some puppies up for adoption. I of course fell in LOVE. I named him Dirk.

We walked around the square and got root beer out of bottles. One thing GB and I love to do in old time feel towns is antique shop. We even caused some mischief :) we like to stay young.

Ssshhh I price tagged my root beer bottle 

                                   

We found this little hole in the wall with the most delicious BBQ! Bonus: it was also cheap.  The had this delectable corn bread hash thing. I was able to re-create it at home...Happy happy gal!

After we stuffed our gourd we made our way to the gold mines. We took a tour and panned our own gold. yep, between the two of us...we have three little flakes. Looks like the babies are gonna be set for life.

After we became billionaires we made the drive to the top of the Amicalola Falls and laid in the grass laughing and soaking up with sun. It was grand.

Before we headed home GB and I attempted to hike to a view point from the bottom. Babies didn't want me to walk anymore so I sat on a rock and waited for the GB to go look and come back. In the meantime I was bullied by a gang of bugs. Rude.

We took the long, countryside drive home. It was glorious. We rolled down the windows, pulled back the sunroof and blasted the country music. It was a perfect way to end the day, beautiful view, great music and holding hands with my bestest bestie. 

As the 4th year approached I reflected on ALL our years together. I thought about how much my life has changed and how much I have changed because of Garrett. I feel like he was this really cute boy on a magic carpet and he grabbed my hand and took me along. Kinda like Aladdin, except I was the street rat and GB's personality is a million times better than that annoying Aladdin. I have been so blessed to see so much of the world and experience so much life with him. In the 6 years we have been together we have been to a total of 4 continents, 13 countries, 61 cities, LIVED in Europe, moved to 3 different states, GB graduated from the top IMBA program in the nation, we bought a house, grew stronger from really tough lows, are loving stronger with two wee ones growing in my belly, and oh so much more! Its been the most magical 6 years of my life (including the 2 years of dating) I know they say the best is yet to come, but I can't imagine our relationship getting any better than it is right now.  I am loving life with him and savoring these last precious weeks we have of just the two of us. I couldn't imagine a more perfect person to share this huge adventure with and I couldn't be more grateful for all the love and support he has and continues to give me. He has help me become a better person and I am thankful that as the years go by we find ourselves growing toward each other and not apart. 

Thanks for good, the bad, and the magical GB! Love you 

A little bit of family

My sisters birthdays happen to be about 24 hours apart. So this year since they were both at home for the summer, my parents decided to fly me out to Houston to surprise them for it. I was super excited! I hadn't seen my family since Christmas and we were due for a reunion. The surprises didn't go exactly as planned but everyone was still surprised anyway. Sarah even cried :)

It was really nice to be with the fam! I had been missing all the fun all summer long. The plan was to spend a week and a few days in Houston with everyone then drive out to Pensacola and meet up with GB and have a nice little family beach weekend.

So while I was there we did a lot. I was extremely grateful that my body held up. I took a lot of naps but I was still able to function pretty well. Honestly I have been extremely worn out this pregnancy and this anemia has totally kicked my trash. But the two weeks I was with family I was able to do everything everyone else was doing. I really think heavenly father knows when you need extra strength and gives it to you. I was grateful.

Anyway, back to all the awesome stuff we did. First of all....I ate pretty well. I had every little sweet my babies hearts desired...home made red velvet cupcakes, Jamba Juice, Shipleys Donuts, ice-cream, oh so many yummy things. Plus all my favorite home cooked meals.

 I made my poor step mom my little slave laborer. I had her sewing her little fingers off making things for the buds.  She made each baby a hospital blanket (PS they coordinate) two boppy covers, and 4 sheets for their carry bed. I am sure I am forgetting something else. We had fun going to all the fabric stores and picking out fabric and putting things together. We also hit up some baby consignment places and I snagged some adorable outfits for baby L. Including...BABY UGGS! SO stinking cute!

Baby L's Boppy! I was in LOVE with this peacock fabric at the store...I am pretty sure I may have squealed.

Poor Baby Bud B's fabric wasn't enough. The stupid instructions were wrong and I didn't have enough fabric cut...so she is gonna mail me his. Trust me its gonna be cute!

Here are their Hospital blankets. Again, I immediately fell in love with this fabric. SOOO gorgeous. 

My sisters and I spent the week hitting up the gym, pool, and staying up way too late talking, laughing, watching movies, eating junk. It was awesome. We also went on a sisters date to Ooo La La desert place and then went to the dollar movie. 

We also all went to the temple and did baptisms as a family early one Saturday morning. It was really special to be there all together with little Mitch. We saw a big roach, and my sisters and I had an "interesting" experience trying to get all our showers done lol. We are silly but we make great memories everywhere we go.

We also all crammed in the car for the two hour drive to San Marco river to float. It was really fun. We got mauled by a group of delinquent children every time we tried to climb up the exit ladder...but my sister Deedee and I set those little terds straight. It was a really fun day even though we were all smooshed.

After about 10 days it was time to make the 7 hour drive to Pensacola and meet up with the GB. We won't even discuss how horribly  painful the drive was all cramped in a three seater back seat. EWW. It was worth it at least. We had a great weekend just being all together. We met up with my Dad's brother and got to go out on his sail boat. Pretty relaxing and we got some good sun too.

Our boat got stuck on a sand bar and GB and my dad used all their "man" power to get us off. They succeeded.

We spent some time on the beach and in the pool. My dad being his classic self insisted we sneak into a pool that we were not really allowed to be in. I do have to say it was a pretty sweet little pool. But as always, we got caught...and as always...it was Heidi and I that got caught first and had the pleasure of dealing with it.

While we were there, I managed to somehow break the screen door. :/ oops. My sisters and I had fun playing "clue" with my less than enthusiastic father about what was broken, what room it was in, and who broke it.  He guess me, but we agreed to not tell him until we were gone. GB fixed it anyway and it was no big deal.

Our last day we went to the Naval Aviation Museum on the army base. We had a little too much fun there.

I'm not gonna lie, that place was pretty awesome.

For the last night I had planned on doing a few maternity shots on the beach. It just so happened that my sisters had similar dresses to mine so we decided to have a "sister shoot" as well. Garrett and Heidi took the pictures and I think they turned out pretty swell! Sorry if you are friend with me on FB and have seen these already. It is my blog...so deal :)

The picture below I love. It truely captures the "essence" of us and our relationship. We really are great friends.

 After pictures the boys wanted to go fishing in the surf...and if you don't know my sisters and I too well, we really don't appreciate being left out...EVER. So we went too. It was traumatizing for me..but everyone else really enjoyed it.

The following is the sequence of events, or "emotions" rather that took place as I caught this fella. In a matter of seconds I went from joy to fear to absolute devastation.

( *sidenote: don't be fooled by my laughter, I tend to laugh when I am scared, really angry, or crying hysterically...basically laughter is my go too. ) yes, it does make it hard for anyone to take me seriously. 

This is me for the 30 seconds that I was actually happy about catching the fish.. 

This is me  experiencing Fear; after my dad and brother has informed me to be careful because his fins could sting me. 

and my devastation.....my dad is laughing so hard he can't even talk....

I was sad to leave me family. We had the most fabulous time. I am really grateful for the strong bonds we all have. No matter whats going on in life, together is where we most like to be. I love that my little brother is so protective of us and caters to our needs (even if we tease him). I love that my sisters WANT to be with us and choose family over friends and that we are really good friends. I love that my dad adores us and spoils us rotten and always makes us laugh. I love that my Step mom likes to be involved in all each of us are doing and genuinely cares. I love that GB fits in with us all so well, its like he has always been there. These little buds of mine are going to be so loved by this little clan of mine and I can't wait for them to meet them. 

And I am gonna end this monstrosity with a sweet little video from my baby sister to the buds...