Oh how I love Thee

How grateful I am for the savior....this morning, was a bad morning. I decided to read my scriptures and a story came to my mind. I began to read of the story of the woman who had a blood disorder and through the crowds touched Christ's robe and was healed. Jesus turned and asked who touched him and went to the woman and told her that her faith had made her whole.

This is one of my favorite story's of the Savior for two reasons. 1: The immense faith of that woman. I believe I have a strong faith, but it could always be stronger, this woman is such an example to me. I hope I will always know that I can place all of my burdens on the savior and he will help me. 2: This is my favorite part of the story, Christ knew she was there...he must have been touched by tons of people at that time, yet he felt HER, he knew she was there and she needed him. What a beautiful reminder that he is always aware of me.

Sometimes its hard to think that we are special, we (or at least I) may think, there are billions of billions of children of God, why would he pay attention to my petty problem. But its so not true. God knows us individually, and he is more than aware of all that troubles us. Nothing is too small for him to help with....

I remembered an Apostle speak about how one day, he spent the day with God, he went to a quite place in the woods and prayed and read scriptures and just felt his presence. Today, I decided to spend the day with God, I said a prayer and asked him to stay with me today, I listened to church music, read scriptures, prayed, and watched The Testaments. Oh how I love my Savior. He is never failing and always there when I need him. He has never let me down or turned me away. It is easy to forget sometimes amidst all the craziness of life, to just take a step back and spend a little time with the Savior. I think I will do this more often. The best way to fix a broken heart is through Christ.

" He lives,my kind wise heavenly friend. He lives and loves me to the end...He lives to calm my troubled heart, he lives all blessings to impart."

Infinite-Power-of-Hope

Just something to lift the spirits :)
Infinite-Power-of-Hope

Walls

I heard a song today that really moved me and made me think. Its by Miranda Lambert called The house that built me. Its about a girl who feels lost and goes back to the house she grew up in hoping she might find herself again. Anyway, its been a rough little while for me and its been hard trying to work with some ghosts of mine. It made me think of all the houses I grew up in. I began to wonder what good it would do me to go back....I thought about what happened within the walls of each of those houses that "built" me. I can think of 3 of the 5 that I wouldn't really want to revisit, let alone relive. I thought of some walls where I laughed with my best friend, where I stayed up late getting to know my new sisters, where I talked all night on the phone to my first love. Walls that watched me learn to play the flute. Watched me learn to love a new dad. Walls that protected me in a tornado. Walls where I got a new family. In some walls I grew up faster than I wanted, in some I saw things, experienced things that haunt me still today. and walls where I lost a dad, and my family was torn apart. I thought about all these walls from my past, and all the walls in my now. Now I am surrounded by new walls, walls that see me smile laugh and cry with my best friend. Walls that don't see a little girl. Walls that see a women, a wife, the person that I am today because of all the other walls I had to pass through. "You leave home, you move on and you do the best you can, I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am." In some ways a broken person because of those past walls. As I think of that, I think its important to remember all the walls we have passed through. We can't know where we are going if we forget where we came from. I have been feeling a little lost within myself lately and as I reflect on all that I have lived through, it helps remind me of who I am. I am not sure what my point is exactly, I am really just rambling random thoughts, but I guess my point is that life is just a series of walls we pass through and its what goes on inside them that counts. We are brought into this world with walls, walls that hold our spirits, walls that we leave after this life is over.
....anyway, in other news, Gare Bare is doing great. He is working his little tush off to do well on the GMAT. I am really proud of all that he has accomplished and that all that he is about to accomplish. We have been super busy between school, GMAT, and spending time with family. Garrett and I have basically lived with our Aunt Trina and Uncle Luke...nothing can help heal an aching heart like family. Oh and babies, they have the most adorable baby twins, and let me tell you..Garrett and I have been tempted! lol...but we shall refrain for now ;)I also just wanna say how much I love that I married my best friend. I think I picked the most patient and loving guy alive. I picked someone who will hold me while I cry and sing primary songs to me just to help me feel Jesus when I am missing him. Marriage is beautiful and its my greatest blessing. I hope everyone its doing well!!!

Learning feeds my brain cells

First day of School!!

One month in! Even though its only been one month, I have already learned SO much, not only in education, but in life as well....Here is a humble list of all the things that I have learned thus far....

1: I LOVE school!! For so many years I really struggled with school and never reached my full potential..with a better attitude and stronger motivation...I am doing much better...that being said, here are few OTHER things I have learned...

2: Attitude can make all the difference, before I started this semester I made up my mind that I was going to not only do okay in all my classes, but excel. So therefore, I made a new years resolution to myself that I would always believe in myself and never say, I can't do this or I am not smart enough for this. Instead I must always say I can and I will. ...It has really helped me this semester

3: I also made a new years resolution to not procrastinate. I happen to be the Queen of this...so this semester I decided I would write down ALL my assignments, papers, and projects at the beginning and make sure they were done before the day before...It has worked great so far.

4: Family is the most important thing in life. Im almost 24 and I am just now getting it lol..go figure..now if I can just teach that to my sisters ;)...family before boys lol

5: you should always give more than you take. Another resolution I had was to be more like Christ. Christ was always giving and never excepted anything in return. I think that is a key to happiness in life "losing yourself in service, you then find it". I am trying hard to do this whenever I can.

6: We become like those we surround ourselves with, therefore its important to surround ourselves with positive people. I recently have been struggling with a friend of mine who had a habit of gossiping and speaking ill of their other friends...I had really tried hard lately to ignore conversations that were negative and shut down when they want to speak ill of others. The other day I guess I kind of got a blessing in disguise, this particular friend completely threw me under the bus and I came home really hurt that a good friend could treat me this way. This was a blessing because it made me realize that this is not the kind of person I want to associate myself with. Unfortunately, I have to be around this person on a regular basis,I talked to Garrett and we both decided that the best thing to do was to turn the other cheek and to just live well.

7: Learning feeds my brain cells...awesome lol...They must have been starving for so long

8: Garrett is the most supportive husband ever.

9: God Lives!! Garrett and I were talking about last semester when we were unable to get aid for school and prayed if we should fork over the money for me to go. We went to temple and our answer was I work the semester then go back in January and everything would work out.I remember thinking, umm Okay, I don't like this but Ill trust you, and WOW amazing to me how everything has just fallen into place. We have been immensely blessed.

10: Hard Times is the most boring book ever...I hope to never read it again

Okay so that's the update with me :). Garrett is still working at IHG and looking for a second part time job. He will be taking the GMAT in March and we are really hoping he will do really well. Since we are poor now we spend most of our time at home, sometimes we go stir crazy but we just keep the end goal in mind...only 6 more months in Utah!

Daddy's little girl

Since my parents were divorced, I didn't get the time with my dad that my other sisters and brother do. Which, I always was super jealous of. But I was watching this movie trailor, The last Song,...yes with Miley Cyrus, I don't care what anyone says, I love her...anyway. There is a line in the trailor that reminded me of my dad. " Sometimes you have to be apart from the people you love, but that doesn't mean you love them less...sometimes it makes you love them more." I just love that line because its so true. I mean, you get what life gives you and you do the best you can. I always resented the fact that I got less time with dad than my other siblings, I never thought it was fair...Sometimes I even thought that meant, he loved me a little less because he had less time with me. But recently I realized that just isn't true. Now that I am older, and oh so much more wise, I can understand all the many sacrifices my dad made for me BECAUSE we had to be separated. When I was young, each Sunday my dad would faithfully call. I LOVED those phone calls, even though I was super young, he managed to keep me on the phone for forever. We used to play games...like we would race, I would fake pant and say, "beat ya! I won". My dad always let me win. We also used to play "guess what I am thinking of". My dad always went out of his way to show me he loved me. Even when I got married, I was kind of annoyed that he wasn't over protective. My sisters think its weird that he never freaks out when boys come over for dates, but I am pretty sure its just because he loves us beyond himself, he really just wants us to be happy, even if it IS hard to give us away. Anyway, isn't that the ultimate kind of love, wanting someone else to be happy even if it comes at your expense..that or I am completely wrong and he couldn't wait to get rid of me ;), but I don't think that's what it was.

I have four favorite days with my dad that I was thinking about today....

1: I was 5 or 6 and he had a motorbike. He put me on the back and we went to the little creek in my grandmammas neighborhood...just me and him. It wasn't really anything super special I guess, but I didn't get a lot of time with my dad and that summer, it really meant a lot

2: I was little and it was fourth of July, my dad and I crawled on the roof of my Grammammas house to watch the fireworks...I thought that was the COOLEST thing ever. And it was just me and him...awesome.

2: The day before I got married, I got my endowments taken out. I remember walking into the celestial room and seeing my dad...I knew he was proud of me..and really thats all I ever wanted, to make my dad proud...at that moment, I knew he was the proudest he had ever been of me. I got the best hug from him ever that night.

3: Christmas Break, my dad took me on a date. I really needed that time....I had been having a rough few months and it was so nice to just talk to my dad...he has always been a great listener and I needed him and he was there

Also, My dad is a really good example of how a good man should be. Here are some examples..
1: My dad works really hard for his family. He puts in a ton of hours to provide us with all the things we need, and even the things we want.
2: My dad loves to spend time with us. Whenever I wanna watch a movie or play a game, he will always say yes.
3: He is a worthy priesthood holder. My dad has always (from what I remember) been true to his beliefs and always been there to give me a blessing whenever I need it
4: My dad can always make me laugh, even if I don't want to
5: He can fix anything, even a broken heart..he is magical
6: As mentioned before, he is a good listener
7: He can admit when he is wrong, and will always apologize if he has hurt you
8: He has a great sense of humor. Some of the best family times have been just sitting at the dinner table laughing together
9: He gives really god hugs....its not lame for me to use that because he really does...he gives sincere hugs that send his love way down to your core ..yes I just said that
10: He is always there for me. I know that no matter what happens..I can always no matter what, count on my dad.

Life isn't always what we want it to be, but we have to do the best we can. Nothing change that I got "less" time with my dad but I think we did pretty good with what we had.

I am not sure why I wrote this post but I guess I just really love my Dad and I wanted to share. Mainly because love should be shared more...so I will work on that...the sharing love thing more :)