Double Double the Spoils and Trouble

It has taken me awhile to do this post because it is so emotional for me and I have been so sick that I haven't really felt like getting more emotional than I already am. But I wanted to get it all out before I had mounds of things to update. So here goes, I broke it down into sort of a "play by play" if you will. Enjoy :)

Little Pink Lines

The week of April 17th Garrett was out of town and I was expecting my cycle that weekend. I have always known that Garrett wanted it to be a surprise and for me to make it special when I told him I was pregnant. If you don't know him well, then you are unaware that is is IMPOSSIBLE to surprise him. He figures every thing out, every time. It's really annoying. Anyway, it was  Tuesday and I was to pick him up Thursday from the airport. I thought to myself, wouldn't it be great if I found out I was pregnant now so I could actually surprise him? That meant I would have to take an early pregnancy test. So I went out and bought an early kit and thought, well I will just try it and see. It just so happened that night I had to pee like 7 times.Each time I got up, I thought, should I try now? I decided I would wait until morning because I would for sure get a no and then be too upset to sleep. So morning came and I tested. I watched as the first line began to appear and I thought to myself, "hmm, I have never gotten that line before." (trust me, after nearly two years, I was a pro at these things) I started to freak a little, then thought, okay just wait....welp. The second line arrived, along with a rapid increase in my blood flow. My first thought was, "no way, this can not be right". So I busted out the instructions just to be sure. Nope, its positive. Immediately this wave of emotion coursed through my body. for almost 2 years I had cursed and loathed that stupid stick and now all of the sudden it was the most precious possession I had. I fell on the floor and just cried....no sobbed is the better word.(no I did not stop to pull up my pants) I mean I couldn't breath and I was shaking. I have never felt that much elation and gratitude at once ever like that in my whole life. It was like if you take all the very best and most happy moments of your life, roll them into one, and feel it...all. at. once. That's what it was like. I was busting Jerry, busting. (Seinfeld reference) I wanted to call Garrett SOOOOO bad but I knew it was better to make it special. 

Baby Shoes and a Letter

 To be honest keeping that "little" secret was the HARDEST thing I have ever done in my life. Okay, slight exaggeration, but it was friggen difficult. I pulled it off though, I had a brilliant plan that was sure to shock and I was ready. After what felt like an eternity, I picked up GB at the curb. I was somehow able to keep my mouth shut the whole ride home (miracle). When we pulled into the driveway, I told GB to give me exactly 5 minutes, then to come to the stairs and follow the shoes. As GB approached the top of the stairs, he followed a trail of blue and pink baby shoes which led to our nursery. Once he opened the door, the room was lit with candles, a song was playing (we're having a baby, my baby and me by Desi Arnez) and pink and blue balloons tied down with newborn diapers filled the room. I was in the corner, as he walked in, he seemed really confused and kept repeating "what?" over and over. I instructed him to read a letter from "baby". He then kept saying, "NO" lol, So I instructed him to open the little white box covered in pink and blue ribbon, inside he saw the test. "Are you pregnant?" I started to cry (again) and we just hugged. To be honest I am not sure what shoked him more, the fact that I was actually pregnant or that I was able to surprise him. Either way, it was such a special moment that I had been dreaming about for so long and it couldn't have been more perfect. We will both always treasure and never forget, mainly cause I have it recorded.

A Little  Extra Surprise

May 13th was our first ultrasound. I was beyond excited to finally see our little one on the screen. I was really hoping I could hear a heartbeat. We were about 40 minutes late because of traffic and I was flippen out. I thought for sure they wouldn't see us, but they did. We ended up waiting about an hr. to get in to the Ultrasound Tech. GB was getting bored and tired of waiting. Little did he know how worth it, it would be. I sat up on the table and she placed the uncomfortable foreign object in. Immediately I saw these two little bubble/sac looking things. The tech looked at us and asked if this was our first ultrasound. We told her yes, and she then said, "Well wait until you get a load of this". For Garrett, this confirmed his suspicion that I was carrying twins, but I still didn't want to get my hopes up. Garrett and I have ALWAYS wanted twins, it was the dream, but at this point I was so grateful to have even one that I wasn't going to be greedy. I kept watching the screen to see if what I was looking at was two babies, or my ovaries. (Don't laugh I had NO clue what I was seeing) after she took a bunch of measurements, she said, "have you figured out what's going on yet?" I said/questioned, "twins?". She smiled really big and said, "It looks like it". Tears just started to pour down my face. That feeling I had when I saw the pink lines, was coming back. I was so overwhelmed. In that moment, I had everything I had ever wanted. I think the tech wasn't sure if they were tears of joy or fear, but we assured her we definitely wanted twins. A person shouldn't have that much. She started to showing us the different babies and then we got to hear each of their heartbeats. It was like magic. Garrett's face just lit up and he had the biggest most goofy/awesome grin. I instantly fell in love. She placed us in the next waiting area so I could see my OB, where I had to listen to GB boast about how he knew the whole time it was twins. I didn't mind really, I was so elated. As I sat there staring at my pictures sitting with my goofy grinned husband, something whispered to me, "I told you it would be worth it". And it was, it really really was.  It was incredible. The whole day we were just beaming. I am still beaming. 

Now

Today is my last day in week 10. The babies original due date was Christmas, but since I'm having twins and its my first, he wants to induce December 10th. We got to see the buds again last week and they have already changed so much. Bud A was flipping all around and kicked poor Bud B who was trying to nap. Melt my heart. I am so madly in love with those little thing. I feel like I  have also already changed so much. Something about seeing those little "buds" as I call them on the screen changed me. I realized then just how wonderful my body was. I have spent a good portion of my life really not liking my body, constantly wanting to change things, being mad at it when I was so sick. But in that moment, I had such great respect for it. This body I had never learned to love was giving me two babies. I realized just how amazing and beautiful my body is now. I don't  ever want my kids to look at their bodies and see the "imperfections" I want them to see the strength and beauty of it. The best way I can do that is to give them my example. I can honestly say that I have never felt more beautiful. I find myself looking in the mirror at things I have always disliked, and suddenly, I am hoping my babies have those traits. For example, my nose, always hated my nose. Just recently I have noticed I have my dads nose. Now I think, I hope you have my nose, it comes from your Grandad. I have been tremendously sick since about week 6. Which I knew I was going too, with previous health problems. But I haven't minded one little bit. I feel so privileged and blessed to have these two little miracles growing inside me and I just want them to be healthy, I don't even care what it does to me. I have a long way to go, but I am so excited. Garrett is going to be such an adorable dad. My buds are just gonna adore him. It has been a long and hard road to get here, but it has been worth it. As I look back on our  years together, we have been so incredibly blessed. We really have had this amazing life. 6 years, just to ourselves, traveling the world, fulfilling our dreams and in the end, we get this too. It's too much happiness. Despite the insane amount of hormones flowing through my body, I am immensely elated. I know that without the hard fight and all the lost battles, the victory of this war wouldn't be nearly as sweet, and I wouldn't change a single second.