Gone Baby Gone

So my dear sweet love is here....

For a whole week for a work conference and a little bit of fun ...I am thrilled for him to be going and I want him to have a blast! ..oh this is Capetown South Africa by the way. Anyway, while I am over joyed for him, I will miss him....umm...A whole LOOOOTTTT!! In fact, my face right now looks something like this...

Only maybe not as ...adorable. 

Point being I already miss him something awful and its only been oh...2 ish hours. 

Pathetic.

Oh well, don't care. I really did marry the most wonderful person possible. I can't even begin to describe just how good he is to me. GB is so patient and doting, I am thoroughly spoiled :) I am so blessed to have someone who doesn't just stay with me through the bad and the ugly but clings to me. I hate it when he is gone, its like my legs are gone...a little limbless...I am limbless without him. Its weird and awesome and I am rambling because I just love him and he is just the best thing ever. I am so glad I picked him, even more..I am Oh so very thrilled he picked me :) 

The Charles

Charlie's little personality has really come out the past few months. I know he is a dog, not a baby...but these pups are the closest I got, so indulge me here.

He is Mr. nuggles. He constantly has to be by our side at all times. His favorite place to sleep in around your head on your pillow...yes our dogs sleep in our bed and yes he sleeps curled up to my head with his face on mine. It makes it hard to turn over, but makes you feel so loved.  He is always up to play and is a really great "little brother" to Chauncey. Everyday he does something more adorable than the day before. He loves everyone and everything. He is great with little kids and is incredibly intelligent. So intelligent that when he does something he knows is naughty he will automatically put him self in his kennel. Its adorable and I have the hardest time punishing him. He is always so happy, even when he is sick. A few months ago he was having some issues going to the bathroom so I took him in and found out he had worms. I was in shock, he acted so happy all the time I just couldn't believe it. I could learn a thing or two from him, always be happy about life no matter what. He is also a little mess of trouble..

.but with that has also been a HUGE support to me lately. He has been trying really hard to get involved in the lets "get mommy pregnant" project. He is always right there encouraging me creepily spying  as I test for ovulation. He gets so into it that he double checks the tester goes to town gnawing on them just to be sure mommy read it correctly. He even gets really upset when I start my period too. He acts out in fits of rage and rips through the trash to annihilate all used tampons quietly digs through the trash to do unseemly things to them when he thinks I am not looking.  to show them where they can go. He really is just the most supportive,sweet , caring creepy perverted puppy ever.

Charlie has enriched our lives. He even took grumpy little Chaunce and made him happy and playful again. We love you little Charlie, even if you can't read and have a slight addiction to anything below mommy's belt line.

*yesh I did in fact misspell ovulation...

3 whole years..wait what?

So we hit 3 years, yea no big deal :) I already wrote a whole nauseating shpeel about my deep love for the Mr. a week or so previous to our anniversary so I will spare you another.

Our anniversary was amidst the horribleness that was August.  The 22nd to be exact..we were near the end here :) Anywho,we tried to plan a few things but like all things in August, nothing was working out...we ended up heading back home thinking we would try to fly out of Atlanta and hit up somewhere spectacular for a few short days....yea that wasn't working out either. Shocker. We resigned our defeated selves were happy to stick around GA and celebrate there. It actually ended up being a wonderful anniversary.

We started the day at the Georgia Aquarium. I was really excited because they just opened up a new Dolphin Show. To be honest it was a little to kiddie for me but it still blows my mind the amazing things they can teach the Dolphins to do. If you have never been to the GA aquarium you should go, it only has the largest tank in the world and its just incredible. We really enjoyed ourselves there.

Us with the Penguins!!!!

Belugas...My FAVORITE!!

Whale Shark! There are 3 of these in here!!

Largest Tank in the World People

Tender :)

My fish in the sea with a fish

Next we had lunch at the Varsity...a place where all the grease from around the world collects and is put into your food. Just kidding, its a must go here in Atlanta. The Onion Rings and Orange cream soda are to DIE for, mainly because they will kill you from all the calories.  MMMM disgustingly delicious.

After lunch we went shopping were we proceeded to purchase three times the amount of clothes for GB than for me. A record, I am pretty sure. I was super excited about it and very proud of my little self for exhibiting such self control putting his large amount of spending in my little bank for later. He got a super extractive Jacket, hence another reason I am glad it is fall and we are not in Texas...oh the blessings, they never end.

We then checked into our 5 star hotel, and 5 stars indeed. holy mamma that bed was comfy. Oh and don't even get me started on the tub....happiness. After some settling in a relaxing delightful bubble bathe we headed to dinner...where did we go you may ask....Cheesecake Factory of course...oh how thrilled was my belly. So good. We had dinner outside with candles and it was romantic and lovely. As always my favorite part was the dessert, oh cheesecake, you never fail me.

We headed home the next morning after stopping at another favorite place...the Container Store. Oh if I could only live in it.

Our Anniversary was really great and I am just grateful I got to spend it with GB this year since last year he was Romania for work. We have been beyond blessed in our travels abroad so far and I have so much gratitude for that. This third year may just have been my favorite, although I have some magical memories in Italy as well so year two is a great contender. It seems like year four is already starting off great with big changes and I can't wait to see what lies ahead. Love to my Man, he is the cheese in my cake.

Rainstorms and Golden Tans

It's almost October...YESH. I absolutely ADORE fall. I love the weather, the activities, the scarves, the sweaters, the changing leaves...it's all so very magical. Also, I am so ready for it. I love change, love it. Things are changing here at the Bradham household. But before I get to that, lets go back to August, horrible, ugly, hard, finally over with August.

August was a month full of No's. So let's back up. 

Item 1: GB had been interviewing for this position in Dallas, TX...we really wanted him to get it, it would just about double our income, give us a chance to buy a home, and just start a new adventure. 

Item 2:  I had been planning this little trip to Africa for about a few months at this point. I was super excited because it has been a dream of mine... since basically forever... to go work in an orphanage there and see the beautiful country. I found this amazing company that I could actually afford, with my flight benefits, GB and I decided I had to do it. So I had put down a deposit and let my heart rejoice and count down the days to September. 

Item 3: I was SURE beyond SURE I was pregnant this month, this was the month and I KNEW it. I was late and my body was weird and I had received a direct blessing a month before and this was it. I was finally pregnant this month. 

Enter the worst month any body has ever had ever   August, 

GB passed all 4 interviews with flying colors, just waiting on the offer, he of course would get it. No doubt, this was all part of our plan. An email came, and like that, our plan was shattered. Poof...over. No job, we were super confused cause GB had gotten back such great feedback. I was really sad slightly relieved because Texas is disgusting   and totally bummed that my dreams of a home were no longer. Boo

I got sick for a few weeks in August and missed a week straight of work, which is NOT okay when working for an airline, at least not with Delta. While my bosses were super great about it, they still have certain policies about it and what not, so I was on a hiatus from work and started to think about my Africa trip...I got these weird feelings about it and was afraid I wouldn't have my flight benefits any longer and concerned I wouldn't be able to go yada yada So I prayed about it...my answer...."Now is not the time, but you will go". I was devastated, but I knew what I was supposed to do, so I canceled my trip AND lost my deposit. boo

Whatever, its fine, those things didn't work out cause this was my month, the month of baby Bradham right?..wrong...really really wrong. When I found out I just  laid in the shower and sobbed....and sobbed.....and sobbed until the water ran cold. What they don't tell you when are trying to get pregnant is that its not always instant...you don't just think hmm I want a baby and then poof, baby growing. They don't tell you how incredibly unfair it may be, I mean 16 year old girls get pregnant REPEATEDLY not even wanting a baby in the first place, but for me, who is so ready and willing that I  would cut off my pinky toe to get pregnant, its an exact science....I hate science by the way, oh and numbers, hate numbers....getting pregnant requires both. No one ever tells you how hard it is to hear all your friends get pregnant on the first try or without even trying at all and how crappy you feel when before you know it their babies are here and there you are....still in the same place as you were when they first got pregnant, happy for them but also bleeding green slightly envious. No one ever warned me that just the mere desire to become pregnant would mess with your hormones and turn you into a crazy person...I mean some days all I wanna do is hold other peoples babies and pretend just for 2 minutes that its my baby and on other days you wanna burst into tears at the sight of an itsy bitsy human. Or I have those moments when a friend annouces they are pregnant and like a busy body I ask how long they tried and they tell me, "oh just a month", I'll say out loud "Aww that's awesome, I am so thrilled for you", and I really do mean it but inside I am also secretly thinking "I freaking hate you", like some sort of evil monster. I really am happy for them...promise :) Or how you want to strangle your friends when they complain that their big bellies are and how fat they feel from it.  How you just wanna shake them and scream," Don't you know how beautiful it is to be pregnant?! You are growing a PERSON! A tiny version of you and the person you love most in the world! Don't you get that I am NOT and I want to be more than I have ever wanted anything...EVER?! Don't complain, be grateful" don't they know?? ughh...it stinks...I don't like all the crazy it brings out. but I know I will be a mom, its on the lords time, not mine. I am not good at not having control or not being able to plan. A lesson I am learning. I can tell you one thing though, after all I have been through trying to have a baby, I will never take a single moment for granted.

*Side Note: Sorry all my pregnant friends, I love you and I really and happy for you all...and complain all you want about water retention and nausea and all other horrible side affects cause #1 I have no idea what it feels like and #2, its just flat out not fair. Just try not to complain about your baby bump around me :)

I recently had the opportunity to travel to Houston to spend a few days with Dad and company and go to Time Out for Women with Heidi, which in and of its self was an amazing blessing. It was a wonderful opportunity and I am so thankful for it. I met some inspiring women who taught me so much. I am immensely blessed despite all the little struggles. I can recognize that my life is as beautiful as it it because of the hard and for that I am grateful and will always be.  

August.stunk but its over and fall is coming, a season of change, things are changing for us...for the better. I am at an amazing place right now and my relationship with my father in heaven could not be any better, well I am sure it could always be better but it feels just glorious. As I was flying home from Houston I saw the most beautiful sunrise and I felt an overwhelming sense of love from the Savior, I know he has a plan for me and no matter what he has my back. There is no greater feeling than that. I have learned a lot in my 26 years, and if there is one thing I know, its that after a heavy rain, the clouds part and the sun shines down...and I always end up with the most glorious golden tan. 

We later found out the only reason GB was not offered the job was because the company had just received a budget cut and was forced to hire internally. Because of not getting that job we have been praying hard about where to go from here and what is next for us and have received confirmation that Georgia is where we are REALLY meant to be. I have every faith in the lord that something great awaits us there. GB still really LOVES his job with IHG, hopefully more opportunities will open up there, so in less than two weeks we are moving in with GB's parents and on the hunt for a home..yep we want to buy a house...we shall see how that goes :) It is an exciting time in our lives and I am trying my best to enjoy despite the ginormous mess we are currently living in. :) 

Love and Bricks

Man this week has been SO crazy emotional. So much has been going on in our lives. Good, bad, and just plan crazy. Before I get to the heavies, I want to touch on something that has been really close to my heart lately. .....Garrett.

I can not express how much I love this man! Honestly, I am so in love with him. I mean seriously, look at him..how could I not be??? 

Right?! mmmmm delicious. 

We are approaching our 3 year anniversary and I can't believe it. Not because it I am thinking, "man where did the time go?" but because I honestly can not believe we have only married three years/together for 5. I feel like.."really? that's all?" and  I mean that in the best possible way. When I think about it, I feel like we have just been together forever. I seriously don't know how I had a life without him. We have been apart almost two weeks now and it SUCKS! He called me today and said something that made me cry when I got off the phone. He said, " We just don't function well apart, its like we have such a tight relationship that we are each others halves, and when we are apart its like half of us is gone." I hadn't really thought about it that way before but it really is SO true. I really feel that way. He is my stronger, better half. It really is so difficult to be apart because it is like the very best, most important part of me is just gone. It's barely bearable. I spent most of my sick day yesterday going through all our old photos and videos since I missed him so much. We have had so much fun together. I have loved all of our adventures. I have so much fun with him. My little play buddy :) I am so thankful for all the travel we have been able to do so far. I have seen/traveled the world with my best friend, not many people can say that and I am eternally grateful for it. 

I have been thinking about my life a whole lot lately and how incredibly lucky and blessed I am. I have mounds and mounds of gratitude for my father in heaven. I am blessed beyond what anyone deserves. I really love my husband  so very much. He is without a doubt the most gloriously amazing, most happiest thing to ever happen to me. Garrett is a dream, he is so patient and understanding with me. He is the very best listener and gives the most marvelous huggles (very intense huggle/snuggle). Not to mention his mind blowingly good looks. He has been the most wonderful, faithful companion and I honestly could not have dreamed up a more perfect person for me.  He was definitely worth all the heartache I had to go through  to get to him :) Oh how I love him..(side note: he comes home in 4 hrs and 18 min) mmmmmm-ness. I can hardly stand it. 

So yea happy happy things....with that all that being said, life has been interesting lately, to say the least. GB has some job opportunities in the pipe that we are hopeful and excited about. We will be moving from the wonderful Columbia October 15.... saddening but its time to move on...not sure where to yet...most likely back home to GA but only time will tell...so all that is crazy. I am a planner and I don't really like not being able to plan my living sitch, but hey, it is what it is. 

Oh so the brick thing.....for the longest time I have felt like I have been walking around with this ginormous sack of bricks on my back. Yesterday, I set it down. Confused? .....its okay. Lets just say I found a place of forgiveness I wasn't sure I would ever be able to find, and worked through and healed from things that seemed impossible. As I have gone through this long and painful process I have noticed a few things about trials
1: being that whenever I go through them, I find my self growing so incredibly close to the lord, its almost like he is constantly sitting with me and I can just talk to him as I please with immediate updates.
2: When I get showered with loads of trials.....blessing soon follow. I always try to focus on that when I seem to get bombarded....kind of exciting ....like, "okay I can do this, bring it,  lets get this over with and let the good times roll." 

Gotta just keep swimming

I think I am almost at the end here ...I know this is vague but on one hand, this is the internet...even though this is just mostly for me and posterity sake, people do read it. Anyway, I as I wrote my emails of  letting go or what have you, I could literally feel the Saviors arms around me...it was hands down the most liberating thing I have EVER experienced. I am so grateful for the atonement of Jesus Christ. I have such a strong testimony of it. I believe firmly in the powers it has to heal our hearts. Without it I would be a sad, miserable girl. 

What else what else???...hmmm...well I have an amazing thing in the works but I won't divulge that until its a for sure thing...so that's it I suppose

All in all life is good for us. We are going through some family ish, and not sure what the future holds, but our heads are  up :)