Happiness!

This is probably my favorite commercial ever...well along with the cute kid with the Dorritos :) Anyway, it makes me smile so I thought I would pass the smile a long

The Hardest Thing

I think one of my better qualities is my ability to love others. I have been blessed with the wonderful gift of being able to love anyone and everyone. My dad says I have a golden heart. I even befriended my husbands only other love..granted, she made it easy because she is friggin awesome and one of the most awesome people I have had the pleasure of knowing, but still who does that? Who makes friends with their husbands ex? and not just like kinda friends, but SUPER good friends. Apparently I do.(don't worry this is NOT a boast post) But when it comes to loving myself...not so much. That is where I struggle. I wrote a post a few days ago about feeling ugly and hearing a song. I have listened to that song about a million times since then..sometimes it helps, sometimes not. I don't know what is up with my newly developed sick obsession with my body, but it has got to stop. I have been making myself more sick than healthy the past few days by over working out. I realize my sweet family and those who love me best are thinking, okay Meagan, you look great what is your deal. I know, Garrett tells me about a billion times a day how beautiful I am. I believe that he thinks that, but I don't. When we were laying in bed last night I was telling Garrett how I don't understand what my deal is. I mean logically I have no reason to complain about my body, but for some reason, whenever I shower or look at my baby pouch with no baby, I freak. I cry, every time. I literally can not handle it. And its not like I look at others and think, okay they are not a stick they need to loose weight. I pretty much feel like everyone is beautiful, except me. I feel like the only thing I have is my figure. So, back to last night, I was explaining to Garrett how I don't get why I care so much. I always thought that once you understood its the inside that counts, inner beauty and all that, and once you understood that its how heavenly father views you, then you would view yourself the way he does. I am not sure if that made sense at all but I guess what I was trying to explain, was that if you love who you are, then you should be able to look in the mirror and love what you see, or at the very least not cry or gag...but as I was trying to explain this, I realized I don't really love myself on the inside. I get so frustrated with myself when I look back all the things I never did that I wanted to. Its hard to feel like a looser. I think its hard sometimes, or not hard, more like frustrating when all you here is "you are special" everyone is special, and if everyone is special, then doesn't that just, contradict or something? I dunno. What I am trying to say so ineloquently is the hardest thing for me, is to learn to love myself. I am kind of a perfectionist and its hard to not focus on my flaws. I am not really sure how to learn to love myself, so I guess this will be learning period. I will say that I am glad to not be in Utah anymore. I think there it was really hard not to compare myself to every other girl and think "wow she had accomplished way more than I have", or "she is so much more beautiful than I am". I think I may have also done myself a slight dis-service in marrying such a good-looking, accomplished fella. just kidding, I did myself a great service, but it is hard sometimes to feel like you don't deserve the person lying next to you. I don't know. Sorry if this is a pity post, and I realize it is extremely personal,but I just feel like this is something every girl goes through at one point, and this blog is more for me than anyone else. And one day when I have a daughter who is going through this, she will know she is not alone and that I felt this way too and I can help her with what I learned. Anyway, yea...its been a rough week for me personally, but I know that in the end, I will be better for it and I will have learned something. I just hope the lesson I learn, is how to love myself as much as my friends, family, husband, and god do.

One Year Down!

Welp, now that the Mr. finally has his beloved egg sandwich, I can blog....
Garrett and I celebrated our first Anniversary and it was FABULOUS!!! We started it off Friday by going to the temple to do an endowment session. You can never go wrong with going to the temple with your spouse...its always special. On the way back we decided we were hungry and wanted something inexpensive..so we saw a Waffle House and thought..MMM that looks nummy. After we ordered we realized that last year, after I took my own endowments out, we ate the waffle house. We decided to make this a tradition. Endowment session followed by Waffle House. We had a great friday night and really enjoyed each others company.
Saturday we originally planned to go to Charleston, but woke up too late to make the trip. This actually worked out well since we are most likely going over labor day with the family. Anyway, we decided to go to the ZOO! Okay so the Columbia Zoo is GLORIOUS! We seriously had a blast, regardless of the vengeful heat. Here are a few of my favorite pictures!


This was the Kangaroo walk about where you got to go INSIDE the kangaroo area and be with them....it was awesome

Olliphants!

He loves Turtles...I can't believe we could pet them

There are SHARKS in this tank!

see told you..Blasted Shark..I shall eat you some day



They also have Botanical Gardens at the zoo which are ranked in the top 20 in the nation. They were beautiful.

Here is Garrett and I after he "re-proposed"..yes it may seem super cheesy I guess, but I love having cheesy in my life. besides, it was SO adorable, he got down on one knee in this little gazebo and sweet talked me...again. I am such a sucker ;) He decided to make this a tradition and propose again every year..I am such a lucky girl


So we were starving after the zoo and decided to eat after. We stopped at Yesterday's Tavern for some GOOOOD eatin'. I was so excited to see that they had BLACK TIP SHARK on their specials menu! I have always wanted to try shark...I really couldn't believe how cheap it was. The best part was that is was SOOOO delectable. I was very pleasantly surprised. It was like steak but light...mmm.
Told ya I'd get ya sharky!

We ended our anniversary by going to the Nickelodeon down town. It was such a neat theater. Definitely a good find.
We really had such a great Anniversary and we can't believe its already been a year. It really has flown by. But I guess that is a good thing, if it was a long year that wouldn't be too good :) I remember people telling me that the first year is the hardest, if that is true then this marriage thing is gonna be a breeze haha. I love being married to Garrett, I always have someone I can be silly with, someone who understands me, and someone to share the load with. Life is great and we are so very happy and still so in love. Marriage is great...I am not sure how I ever lived without it.

Currently...

Currently, I am supposed to be blogging about how wonderfully fabulous our first anniversary was (per my husband) He loves it when I write lovely things about him and can't get enough...however, I am highly unmotivated as he can't seem to find the strength to refrain his little self. "Mrrgr I want an egg sandwich, Mrrgr please make me an egg sandwich". Can I add that its already made. I mean all he has to do is add the bread...May I also add he is playing on MY ipod....doing nothing....lazy lazy sack...whom I love. Oh my...men. Can't live with them, can't live without them...What can ya do?

Just the way I am

So today, was a bad day. We all have them, they are a part of life. To be honest, I had zero reason to have a bad day. It was just one of those feel sorry for myself days. I mostly just felt super ugly. Hate those days...they are the worst, because no matter how many times Garrett tells me I am the most beautiful girl in the world...it doesn't change how I feel. Its a girl thing I guess, I am pretty sure we all have those days. Anyway, I decided it was finally time to drag myself off the couch and go get groceries. As I was driving I was just in a super pissy mood and getting super bad road rage. It seems like whenever I am "having a day" no one knows how to drive..thankfully noticing this horrible attitude, I said a quiet little prayer to help calm me down.I took a deep breath and turned up the radio and heard "Just the way you are" by Bruno Mars. I had never heard this song before but as I listened to the words, the spirit touched my heart and a little voice inside my head whispered "I love you just the way you are". As cliche' as it sounds, the lord looks on what is inside us to determine our beauty. And if the lord thinks I am beautiful, then I should start trying to see what he sees. I began to cry as I realized that the extra 5 pounds I put, my pale pale skin, and whatever else I didn't like about my looks, didn't really matter. I guess its just super important to love who we are inside and not worry about the little imperfections.