To start off this post, I would like everyone to know that you will find NO lies on this blog. I post things as they are, and not as I wish them to appear to be. So if you can’t handle things that are not perfect like on most other blogs you read, then please turn back now, you are in danger of great disappointment. If you like the messy stuff because it makes you feel more normal then, please continue.
So, being engaged…it really sucks in case any of my single ladies are reading and wondering, it is so NOT what you think it will be. Don’t get me wrong, its definitely an exciting time and a great opportunity for you to draw closer to your special someone..but ladies…IT IS NO PICNIC! Being engaged is hard, you start to argue about all the stupid insignificant things that do not matter. This is due to all the stress that is occurring trying to find middle ground in wedding planning in trying to accommodate all families involved, which in our case, would be three. Anyway, So seeing as how I am only ONE person, I am unable to speak for everyone else. However, for me it only seems natural that at SOME point it will hit you that this choice…is FOREVER! Granted, I may a little more fear than some others, seeing as how I have experienced my parents initial divorce, followed by a second between my mother and step father. It could also be the result of my failed previous engagement 4 years ago that went down in flames and left me with nothing but a shattered heart and debt, at the most inconvenient time in my life. At any rate, whatever the reason, fear sunk in. Now, it’s important that I state that there is ZERO doubt in my heart that Garrett is the absolute ONE for me….my head….that’s a little frightened. Once again going back to my previous life experiences…along with that,
a side note ***just for the record, I would chose this life again if I had the chance, It has brought people in my life that I would other wise not have the blessing of being so close to or knowing at all, So between that and it helping me to become the person I am today, I must say that is has been worth all the pain. Okay back to the original post.
Anyway, so okay, it wasn’t the most wonderful day Garrett and I have ever had, so we decided to take some time together and go on a date. We went to dinner and saw the movie 300 Days of Summer, which by the way is AWESOME! I loved it. It was real, and I LOVE real. Okay so getting back to the story. We get to the car and I start to cry, I know..shocking. I am a woman so give me a break okay. So Garrett, being the sweet wonderful caring fiance that he is, asks me what is wrong…I tell him the truth…I am sad…and scared. I am scared of it not working. We get back to the house, and as I am crying while wrapping a gift for our friends new baby, all of the sudden I hear some sweet song…and Garrett takes my hand and dances with me. It was a song I had never heard before by Ben Harper, called Not Fire, Not Ice. It’s about how nothing can change how he feels about the girl he loves. Umm Of course I bawled my eyes out, again and I felt like I was on fire and immediately knew how silly it was of me to be scared…give me a break people okay, forever is a long time…and it was just like a 20 min. of lapse of judgment. I am not perfect, but Garrett is. Really, he is…..okay fine…that’s kind of a lie. He is not literally perfect, but so perfect for me. As I cried and we danced he said some of the sweetest most wonderful things anyone has ever said to me..I also continued to realize the extent of my idiocy. Oh and NO I won’t tell you what he said, that’s personal…geez. Anyway, he also played me songs on his guitar including one he made for me…aww I know…Yes ladies, BE JEALOUS!! I’m pretty much the LUCKIEST girl ever. So the moral of my little story Being engaged sucks, but a long with the bad days, we have really good ones. We didn't dance under the stars or in the rain, just in our soon to be house tears streaming down my face, and yet I think it was one of the most romantic and sweetest moments of my life.I still would have appreciated it if our day had been good, but because of the bad,it made the sweet so much....sweeter. I guess what I am trying to say anything worth having, is worth fighting for and sometimes things are hard so we can appreciate them. Yes being engaged stinks, but getting to marry Garrett…nothing even comes close to comparing to how awesome that is. Anyway, I am so grateful for Garrett and his strength, I know I am marrying a strong priesthood holder whose faith far surpasses mine.
I teared up. For I have been there before. But if you have an amazing guy...which you do. He will make you feel so much better. I love your honesty. I was there too, just couldn't blog about it because I would just cry the whole time. We fought about everything that was dumb, and mostly I felt it was my fault because I was a nervous crazy woman. :) Maybe not that bad, maybe I still am. But trust me, if Garrett helps you like that when you are engaged, he will be that way when you are married. So sweet of him. Brad would always sing to me on his guitar, dont worry, be happy by Bob Marley. I would just cry harder. Garrett is perfect for you :) Just remember you will never be engaged to him again. So savor it :) Because your love will only grow :) Ps, I loved this post.
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